Kaun Banega Carorpati joke “KBC ” Amitabh Bachachan Ji Kis Kis ko Banaenge Carorepati?

Joke 1) Santa Banega Karodpati – Complete version

We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat.
(He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify)
AB : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.
Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh.
Chak denge phatte aj. Tusi start karo ji.

AB: To aap apne pitaji ke saath aaye hai, kya naam hai aapke pitaji ka?”
Santa: “Hai Jee?”
AB: “Kya naam hai aapke pitaji kaa?”
Santa: “Are sir jee, kam se kam char options to do…”
AB: “ufff.., ok.., leave it. Lets proceed with the game”

AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000
Rs. – ‘Which state has the largest sikh population ?’ and your options are
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa : Oh ji how much time do I’ve to answer this question

AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can take your time
Santa (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.

AB : I’m not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.
Santa : Audience poll

AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%

AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here.
Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I’ve to use my second lifeline – 50 50.

AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK
computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein
chodoonga nahi aaj isko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question.
This is great . OK phone a friend – kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.
Santa : My one and only one… mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it ‘ Hulloooooo, kon hai oye
adi raati,???’

AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.
Banta : ahhhooooooo, Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein #!@#$%&#@##%#& kar deta, kher, Ki hal chal he sar ji.

AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath
aur……………..
Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gaya hoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,………….. chaliye mein aapko special case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta : oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap laye ga.

AB : Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai
………………… (he tells him the question).
Banta : Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai.
Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe . Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.
Santa : oye par ……… (and the clock stops).

AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.
And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing…

Joke 2) Amrish Puri At KBC

Amrish Puri : Sahi jawab !

Mogambo khush hua !

Joke 3) Shatrughan Sinha At KBC

Shatrughan Sinha : Khamosh !

Bihari babu ke saamne zaban chalata hai. Tera cheque phaad ke phek doonga.

Joke 4) Laalu Prasad Yadav and Family At KBC

One day Laloo appeared on KBC(Kaun Banega Crorepathy) with him he brought his entire family.
First question : One One?
Laloo thinking : uses all lifelines and answers three
Amitji : Sorry Laloo wrong jawaab
groans from laloo`s family : give him one more chance give him one more chance
Amitji feeling sorry for distraught laloo, decides to give him another go
so he asks Laloo : three two?
Lalloo answers :six
Amitji cannot believe it, but because Laloo`s family begs for him to give Laloo another chance, he does
Amitji : Laloo last chance, three three?
Lalloo sweating answers six
Amitji is silent, suddenly there is a roar from laloo`s family: give him one more chance, give him one more chance…

Joke 5) Amitabh Bachchan Ki ABCL Ko Lock Kiya Jaye

Amitabh is questioning a guy on KBC.
He asks him ‘Meri company ka naam kya hain?’
Options : TISCO, Wipro, ABCL, Reliance.
The guys says ‘ABCL’
Amitabh asks ‘Sure, confident?’
The guys says ‘ yes confident’
Amitabh says ‘Computerji ABCL ko tala laga do’
The computer replies ‘Abe gadhe ABCL ko 2 saal se tala laga hua hai !’

Joke 6) 5 Sawaal aur 10,000 Jeeto

Amitabh: Santaji, 5 sawal ka jawab diye to Rs. 10,000 jeetiye. 15 jawab par 1 crore! Aapke paas teen lifeline hain. Ek hazaar rupee ke liye aapka pehla sawaal:
Who is India’s Prime Minister? A: Vajpayee B: Advani C: Zail Singh D: Amrish Puri?
Santa Singh: Vajpayee.
Amitabh: Sure?
Santa Singh: Yes, sure.
Amitabh: Confident?
Santa Singh: Yes
Amitabh: Absolutely sure?
Santa Singh: Yes Amitji.
Amitabh: Lock kar dein?
Santa Singh: Yes.
Amitabh: Sahee jawab! Aap ek hazaar rupee jeet gaye hain!
Santa Singh: Oye! ullu mat banaa! Paanch jawab diye hain puray dus hazaar nikaal!

Joke 7) Phone a Friend

Santa Singh after reaching 13th question:

Amitabh: apka 13th question 25 lakh yeh raha apke samne…
Contestant Santa Singh is tensed.
Amitabh: Who is the father of Abhishek Bachchan Computer Screen:
A. Amitabh Bachchan B. Laloo Prasad Yadav
C. Mohd. Azhar D. General Perverz Musharaff.
Amitabh: Apka kya jawab hai? (He is quite sure that Santa will opt for A)
But Santa is still confused.
Amitabh: Apke pas do life line hai… (50:50 and phone a friend)
Santa: I think it is A but am not sure.
Amitabh: Not sure… Hmmm Ap kya karna chahenge?
Santa: I would like to use 50:50?
Amitabh: Ok computer, 2 galat javabo ko mita de…
Computer:
B. Laloo Prasad Yadav.
C. Moh. Azhar.
Amitabh is confused and tensed thinks how come the computer has made this mistake but as is said in bollywood the show must go on. Now Santa is confused.
Santa: I would like to use the last lifeline phone a friend…
Amitabh: Ap kisko phone karna chahenge?
Santa: Mein Jaya Bachan ji ko phone karna chahoonga…

Joke 8) Nana Patekar as anchor of KBC

Nana Patekar : Jaldi se jawab bol. Sahi jawab tere ko lakhpati bana dalega.Galat jawab tere ko hijda bana dega.

Joke 9) 15th Question will make you…

Amithab: If You tell the correct answer of 15th question; You will become a Crorepati.
Santa: Oh! Then You ask the 15th question directly now.

Joke 10) Mithun as anchor of KBC

Mithun Chakraborty : Eaeeeeeh ! Tu audience poll karega ?
Aye, yahan ke public ke paas time nahin hai. Kya nahin hai ? Time nahin hai.

Joke 11) Ashok Kumar as anchor of KBC

Ashok Kumar : To abhi aapne yeh dekha ( wheeze ), ki yahan se Delhi ke Ramesh Kumar ( gasp ), yahan se Rs. 20,000 leke chale gaye. ( groan ).

Kal aur dus logon ko leke phir milenge Hum Log (croak ).

Joke 12) Keshto Mukherji as anchor of KBC

Kesto Mukherji : Hee-heek. Heek-yeaaaiiiiiik. Apne ko sab kuch do-do dikh rahela hai. Hee-heek. Yeh aath options kidhar se aa gaye ? Hee-yok. Apne ko bahut chad gayeli hai.

Joke 13) Gabbar Singh as anchor of KBC

Amjad Khan : Kitne options the ?

Chaar ?? Soover ke bachchon !

Chaar chaar options !

Bahut na-insaafi hai !

Dhish-keoin Dhish-keoin !

50-50 kar ke do galat jawab main uda diye.

Ab bol, tera kya hoga kaaliya?

Joke 14) Armaan

Amitabh Bachchan – Aap kisko lekar ghumne jaana pasand karenge, crore rupiya jeetne ke baad?

A.B – Arre bhai hamara bhi yeh armaan hai.

Contestant – Koi baat nahin, main Jaya ji se kaam chala loonga.

Joke 15) Drunkard

Ramesh: A drunkard won 25 lakhs in Crorepati (KBC)
Suresh: So, We call him, ‘Quarter-pati’

Joke 16) Dharmendra as anchor of KBC

Dharmendra : Galat jawab !

Kutte Kameene, main tera khoon pee jaoonga.

Inspirational Pictures & Quotes

Here are some great Inspirational Pictures with Inspirational Quotes. Take you time to read them, they are good! Presentation is the process of presenting the content of a topic to an audience. Presentation software such as Microsoft PowerPoint is often used to illustrate the presentation content.

Inspirational Quotes About Birds

• No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings. - William Blake

• Caged birds accept each other but flight is what they long for.-Tennessee Williams

• God gives every bird it's food, but he doesn't throw it into it's nest. - J.G. Holland

• You cannot fly like an eagle with the wings of a wren. - William Henry Hudson

• Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them? - Rose Kennedy

“The seagull sees farthest who flies highest”

• One swallow does not make a summer. - Aristotle

• I hope you love birds too. It is economical. It saves going to heaven. - Emily Dickinson

• It is not only fine feathers that make fine birds. -Aesop

• Birds of a feather will gather together. - Robert Burton

• A wise old owl sat on an oak; The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why aren't we like that wise old bird? - Edward Hersey Richards

• In order to see birds it is necessary to become part of the silence - Robert Lynd

• Intelligence without ambition is a bird without wings. -C. Archie Danielson

• A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. - Alexander Pope

• Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the blues? One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses. - Dale Carnegie

• A bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song. -Chinese Proverb
• The early bird gets the worm. -American Proverb
• The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. -John Berry

Sayings about Life

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;
Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
William Shakespeare

Ark Hotel – World’s New Most Unique Hotel

The Ark project was designed by Russian firm Remistudio with the assistance of the International Union of Architects’ program Architecture for Disasters Relief. The dome-shaped hotel is constructed with wooden arches, steel cables and a “self-cleaning” plastic layer instead of glass. The slinky-like Ark hotel can be adapted to suit both land and water. It is built to stay afloat in the event of floods or rising seas. The 14,000 square metre shell-like construction of arches and cables distributes the weight evenly, meaning it can withstand earthquakes. Daylight is filtered through to internal rooms due to the hotel’s see-through structure, reducing the need for lighting.

Designed as: “an integrated energy system with an uninterruptible power supply using alternative energy sources”, the hotel uses solar panels and a rainwater collection system to provide inhabitants with power and water. It would be built around a central pillar connecting to roof-top wind generators and heat pumps, as well as to energy storage and thermal conversion units below.There will also be a “tornado” energy generating spiral at the top of the pillar.

CRAZY WATER PARK

That is what I call " Engineering "

FEW MECHANICAL MIRACLES OF THE 21st CENTURY

The Boy & The Apple Tree !!! Must Read !!!